Three Word Wednesday

Out on an icy Boxing Day walk through the woods with Holly (age 10 at the time) and Hannah (age 8) I thought it would be a good time to give my counselling skills a bit of an outing and find out how they were coping with their little sister's illness, impending teenageness, and life in generalness. "Fine." said Hannah and skipped off into the distance to look for interesting things to look at under her magnifying glass. "Oh, Okay." sighed Holly. This was a bit more promising! I put my arm around her as we walked and spoke wisely and empathetically of how difficult it could be when you weren't sure about things and sometimes it might be that it wasn't something you wanted to speak to your Mummy and Daddy about but if she had anything she wanted to talk about, she could talk to me and I would try and help her. It was a beautiful aunt/niece moment (well I was moved anyway). As she shuffled through the fallen leaves and I gently asked her "Is there anything you're worried about or want to ask me about just now darling?" there was a pause, then "As a matter of fact Aunty Les, there is something I've been wondering about..." Yes! I braced myself as she gathered her train of thought "... what is an Endowment Mortgage Shortfall?"

What?!?

Those children watch far too much daytime TV.

Three Word Wednesday

I listen to BBC Radio 4. I love the serendipitous nature of what I learn as I listen. I listen because it's like having engaging company who don't mind in the least leaving when you've had enough of them - music blurs my mind and talk sharpens it.


The Shipping Forecast

Like most of the others who listen tonight I wouldn't know one end of a boat from the other but I lie listening to the radio, night battering on the window to be let in, and I hear the poetry in the names - Viking, North Uitsire, South Uitsire, Forties, Cromarty, Forth, Tyne, Dogger, Fisher, German Bight, Humber, Thames, Dover, Wight, Portland, Plymouth, Biscay, FitzRoy, Trafalgar, Sole, Lundy, Fastnet, Irish Sea, Shannon, Rockall, Malin, Hebrides, Bailey, Fair Isle, Faeroes, South East Iceland. I think of the modern equipment that boats are arrayed with and I wonder - do sailors listen still ? Are huge Tankers changing course because the wind is backing southerly gale force 10? Will fishermen's wives hear and go to the window to watch restlessly for the dawn whilst their son, their brother and their husband are spumed and hurtled by an uncaring sea? Is there a naval Captain taking the watch from his EXO and taking the ship about, away from the harm nature might bring? There are,in all probability, new improved satellite imaging gizmos that tell those who need to know in order to survive what the weather that's coming their way is like. I think the Shipping Forecast is still there because no amount of gadgetry and gimmickry can compensate for the loss of everyday poetry should it go, and those of us who listen whilst safe in our beds or over the Sunday lunch need to hear it as much as those on the sea do.

Three Word Wednesday

In response to this week's prompt - phone, stumbled, windy

Quiz for small children

1. You are sitting quietly watching Scooby Doo (again) and playing in an imaginative and creative way with your (naked) action figures whilst Mummy is hosing the kitchen down after breakfast. The phone rings, do you

(a) Answer it and make unintelligible conversation about having jam with your cheese string for breakfast whilst your aunt on the other end of the line progresses from "Hello darling, what a clever girl answering the phone, can I speak to Mummy?" to shrieking "LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR BLOODY MOTHER NOW!!!!" at the top of her voice in the hope that Mummy will hear and come and rescue her.
(b) Ignore the phone until Mummy answers it then interrupt the conversation every 30 seconds with demands for juice; Mummy to play Nintendogs with you; loud singing etc - until Mummy cracks and says that she will call the caller back and hangs up. Immediately start ignoring Mummy and resume Scooby Doo watching.
(c) Call "Mummy! The telephone is ringing, shall I bring it you?" and then sit quietly whilst Mummy has a lovely long chat.

2. It is the middle of the night and, after falling asleep at 6pm in spite of the cold wet facecloth treatment you got, you wake up. Do you:
(a) Get up and amble through to see Mummy and Daddy who are, shockingly, still sound asleep. Use your pointy little fingers to pry open Mummy or Daddy's eyelids and enquire if you can watch Scooby Doo now and while she's at it you wouldn't mind a cup of tea.
(b) Get out of bed and sprinkle a few bits of Lego and some Scooby Doo action figures around the floor of your previously tidy bedroom, move the toy box slightly so that it is now directly in a line from the door then shout "MUMMY!! I AM GOING TO BE VERY, VERY SICK RIGHT NOW!!". Wait until your mother has stumbled in through your bedroom door clutching your father's right shoe as an improvised sick bowl, stubbed her toe on the toy box and then hopped painfully on the Lego/action figure minefield, then tell her that you've changed your mind.
(c) Think "gosh, the stars are still studding the sky and the moon is still out - it must still be night time I think I'll go back to sleep so I wake refreshed and happy."

3. You are utterly at home on either potty or toilet seat these days but miss the drama and excitement of the first few heady days of grasping the whole going to the toilet malarkey. Today you are flower girl at the wedding of one of Mummy's pals. Do you:
(a) Announce loudly "I NEED A BIG JOBBIE!" then spend at least 15 minutes clutching yourself and hopping from foot to foot whilst you choose which of your many new friends will take you to the toilet.
(b) Go to the toilet with Mummy without putting up much of a fight then, while she is taking her turn, go from cubicle to cubicle peering underneath the door and having a bit of a chat with the occupants. On reemerging from the toilets to the wedding reception point to the immaculate and gracious mother of the bride and ask Mummy "Aye sure that's the lady who did really loud windy pops in the toilet Mummy eh?". Admire the way the lady's face turns a lovely pink colour.
(c) Quietly draw Mummy aside and ask if she will accompany you to the toilet, where you quietly and efficiently go about your business, so to speak.

Three Word Wednesday

My First ever TWW! I'm working up to something spanky!

A Cutting Reply

“Take care, my boy – expect the unexpected and keep your powder dry,” the barber
quipped and clipped and snipped.
Gaily the young man tossed his glossy mane of tousled locks
and laughed
“A little something for the weekend perhaps?” and kissed the barber’s lips.